It was the 23rd of December 2007 the Sunday before Christmas when a policeman knocked on my door to inform me that my beautiful son Paul had been involved in an accident and we needed to get to the hospital. Paul was 24 years old and had come back to live with me following the breakdown of his relationship. He was a handsome, caring, loving gentle, tactile kind person who was never afraid to show those he cared for how much they meant to him, he was re building his life and had a great future ahead of him. Paul had a smile that just lit up a room and drew people to him. We were going to have a family meal on the Saturday evening but Paul changed his mind last minute as friend had asked him to go out, he told me not to worry as there was a designated driver and that he wouldn’t be back late. I had bought Paul a jacket that he loved and it was covered in red fluff from the Santa’s hat he had worn during the day whilst delivering his Christmas presents, he brushed it down and left a mass of red fluff everywhere. Paul asked me to leave it for him to clear up the next day along with fixing the Christmas tree that had fallen down whilst we were out. Paul joked with Callum his little brother as he always did and seemed in a great mood as he said goodbye. Minutes later I heard a car screech away and said to Callum ‘I hope that wasn’t Paul’. About ten minutes later we heard lots of emergency sirens but didn’t at any time think that the sirens were for my beautiful son Paul. I sat at Paul’s bedside with Callum, Paul’s older sister Lorraine and many of our family and friends praying for a miracle to happen. Paul had received massive injuries to the back of his brain and he never regained consciousness. Sadly Paul’s fight for life ended on the 26/12/08 and his selfless wishes to be an organ donor were carried out at Hope Hospital Salford where he died. I think about my beautiful son Paul constantly, I look out my back door expecting to see him waving to me as he did on the night of the crash. I use to scream his name and plead with him to come home but now I have learnt to scream in silence. Paul’s death has caused us indescribable pain, grief and a deep dark sadness surrounds me in the knowledge that he isn’t going to come home again and say “mum please can I come back, just until I get things sorted”. I have been robbed of a truly wonderful relationship with my beautiful son and words can not convey the excruciating hurt and pain I feel at being given a life sentence to live the rest of my life without my precious Paul. As I reflect on the circumstances of that dreadful night I will never understand why my son was taken from me but I have had comfort from the fact that his wishes to be an organ donor were carried out. It wasn’t the first thought on my mind when I was praying for my son’s life to be spared but my brother had taken me to one side and apologised for asking me was Paul an organ donor? I am so glad that he did and that his wishes were carried out. The organ donation nurses were very caring and understanding when advising us and completing authority request forms for the release of Paul’s organs for donation. We were able to spend some time with him on our own and say our goodbyes; when I kissed Paul goodbye there was a tear falling from the inner corner of his eye. The medical staff explained this was just fluid but I know he was sad he was leaving us in this way. Sadly Paul’s heart failed before it could be transplanted, one of his kidneys were transplanted that day however that also failed. The organ donation nurse has since contacted me again to inform me that one of Paul’s heart valves had been donated to a little boy age 3 in Singapore. It has given us great comfort that a part of our lovely Paul lives on in another.